Every parent wants the best for their child. For most, “the best” includes a safe environment, warm meals and a great education. For a privileged few it may also include some fancy gadgets and special, well-deserved gifts. These Ridiculously Expensive Kids Toys, take that idea to a whole new level – a well-known level called Spoiled. So as the holiday season approaches and kids start to make their wish lists, be sure to keep them far away from this one.
Traditional Tin Flying Carousel – $800
Handcrafted in Germany, this limited edition Flying Carousel tin toy with airplanes and hot air balloons is said to bring back the fondest of childhood memories. Really? Our memories do not include an $800 hunk of metal, unless they’re referring to Dad’s Oldsmobile. While this might make a beautifully overpriced display piece, it certainly doesn’t belong in any toy box.
Gold Nintendo Game Boy $30000
A quick game of Tetris will never feel as chic (or heavy) as when it is played on a $30,000 18K Gold Game Boy. For the fanciest of gamers, the original hand held system is covered in pave diamonds and the on/off button is a diamond as well.
Kettler ’53 Chevrolet Vette – $1000
Most people’s first cars were worth somewhere in the range $1000, after all, the important thing was to get where you needed to be without bumming a ride from mom and dad. The same goes for the kid who gets a Kettler ’53 Chevrolet Vette…except, he’ll get his at age 3 and it won’t take him any further than to the neighbor’s sidewalk and back.
Maurice Sendak’s Little Bear Carry Along Carousel – $2000
We had to double, triple and quadruple check to make sure the price on this thing wasn’t a mistake. Unfortunately, with just one store selling it we can’t be sure, so we’ll run with it. This is a $2,000 portable mobile based on Maurice Sendak’s illustrations of the popular Little Bear series of books. The best part is, that doesn’t even look like the original Little Bear, you’d think for all this money they could at least create an exact replica.
Six Panel Aquatic Climbing Wall $11000
The gorgeous in ground pool in the yard is fun and all, but what it really needs is a rock climbing wall! For $11,000 they don’t have to settle for regular old swimming with the addition of the Six Panel Aquatic Climbing Wall. Modeled after the same wall used at Penn State University swim team, it will help develop important upper body strength…that clearly can’t be gained from swimming alone. Duh.
Airflow Sport Racer Pedal Plan – $514
In our day we had Big Wheels and boy were they fun. Times have changed. So for when the latest Power Wheels that their BFF already has just won’t do, there’s the Airflow Sport Racer Pedal Plane. Recommended for ages 2-6, its beauty is undeniable, but its worth is certainly up for debate.
Gund Basil Jumbo Bear – $495
Now this thing should raise all sorts of “buying your children’s love” flags. A $20 stuffed bear is just as cuddly as the Basil Jumbo from Gund. At over 6 feet tall and with a price tag nearing $500, it better offer some babysitting hours and homework help too.
Titanium Tricycle – $2500
Gosh Mom, the classic red Radio Flyer tricycle is way too mainstream! Every child needs a sleek Titanium Tricycle that’s worth more than the average monthly mortgage payment. After all, it’s going to last for what? Three whole years?
Genuine Lost in Space B-9 Robot – $25000
Once they’re bored with their 6 foot tall bear, they’ll need to move onto some a little more sophisticated, like the Genuine Lost in Space B-9 Robot. Modeled after the classic Lost In Space television series that children won’t even remember, every detail of the original robot is faithfully reproduced from original archival molds, patterns and blueprints. For $25,000 clearly this isn’t made for the average child, just children of a larger size, with chest hair and surprisingly deep voices.
Teepee – $2200
Creating a teepee structure out of old sheets, broomsticks and other things that can be found lying around the house is so lame. Why get the whole family involved when with a click of a mouse you can buy a perfectly good Teepee for $2,200? Clearly they’ll be more impressed with your ability to deliver the good stuff than with your clever DIY skills.